No More LSS?
LSS’s father is a felon. Last year while on probation, he was again arrested. Since then he has had a major “conversion”. He is going to church every week. Going to NA and AA. Has a job. Married his new girlfriend and has a baby on the way. In May, he will go before a judge and be sentenced for what happened a year ago. I can’t help but wonder if his “conversion” is just an act to keep from going to jail. I sure hope not.
LSS’s grandmother (who has custody of LSS) is a flake. She has decided that she doesn’t want LSS anymore and since it seems like LSS’s dad is “getting his act together”, she is letting him have LSS. I asked her what she will do if LSS’s dad has to go to jail. Her reply broke my heart. “I’ll just give her back to her mom.”
WHAT?!!
The same mom who would leave her home alone every night to go drinking at the bars? The same mom who told her that if she was bad that she would just call the police to come take her away? The same mom who would regularly hit her so hard that LSS was used to being checked for bruises and not allowed to go anywhere if she had bruises? The same mom who was perpetually stoned or drunk? The same mom who was arrested last summer for having 500 pounds of pot in the trunk of her car? The same mom who has no problem with strangers taking her child for weeks on end?
THAT MOM?
I am so angry! I am so frustrated! Why would God let us think that we were going to get her and then let our hopes be dashed against the rocks?
We are going to try to get into contact with LSS’s dad (who we have never met). Maybe we can be a resource to him. Maybe he really has changed. Maybe if he doesn’t go to jail, then LSS belongs with him. Maybe if he does go to jail he will allow us to have LSS.
I spent most of last night crying. Crying because I am sad for LSS that once again she is being rejected and tossed about. Crying because I don’t know what the future holds for that sweet little girl. Crying because I desperately want to be her mommy. Crying because I desperately want to be a mommy. Crying because I don’t understand why woman like LSS’s mother are able to get pregnant (over and over) while I can’t.
This is pretty upsetting to me too. The people that don’t want her have all the power over her. And, she’d rather be with them, and it really makes her unhappy that they don’t want her. Remember the night that she was crying and asking us why her mother and grandmother don’t want her and don’t treat her like we do?
I’m really upset.
unrelevant said this on March 20, 2009 at 10:19 am
It is normal for a child to want their family to love them and to love their family regardless of how they are treated. But it is really hard when we pour our love into her and she still asks for the mommy who abuses her. I really wish that I could take away all of her pain, but we can’t. We can only do what the circumstances allow and trust God that he will protect her.
onbecomingnew said this on March 20, 2009 at 10:30 am
Yes, we will have to trust God to protect her. And, that will be a huge test of faith to me.
I can understand why she’d rather be with family. I would imagine there’s a sense of identity there, as well as a comfort zone and sense of control.
I think we’ve done about the best we can and we’ll see if it all plays out for the best.
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