Her Room

This weekend was a bit rough for me.  This would have been an LSS weekend, but instead my hubby and I cleaned and did things around the house.  The plan was to clean out LSS’s room and box up her things.

Because of her rough past, LSS tends to have horrible night terrors.   Hubby and I decided early on that we would allow her to sleep in our bedroom anytime that she felt that she needed to.  She has her own room, complete with Littlest Pet Shop sheets and blankets, but we also set up a little bed for her in the corner of our room.   When she would have a nightmare, she would wake up screaming.  I would run to her room, gather her up in my arms and hold her until she stopped crying.  Then we would go into my room and she would fall asleep in bed with me and hubby.  When she was fast asleep I would lay her on the little bed in our room.  Eventually she started feeling safe again and the night terrors didn’t happen as often.  But the bed remained in our room, just in case.

This weekend, hubby brought the bed down to the basement and I folded the blankets and put them away.  As hubby was in the basement, I spotted her “cuddle” (one of her favorite stuffed animals that she would always sleep with at hour house).  Hubby walked back into the room to see me cradling the toy and crying.

We didn’t end up boxing up her things yet.  It just makes everything seem so final.  I know that boxing up her things and putting them in the basement will help us not to be reminded of her constantly.  And I know that if we do ever get her again that we can just unpack her things.  But I can’t bear the thought of her room being empty.

We have talked about turning her room into an exercise room.  And hubby keeps correcting me when I call it “her” room.  But I think that to me it will always be her room.

~ by onbecomingnew on March 24, 2009.