I do indeed have the best husband ever!  He is a caring, sensitive, protective, wonderful man of God.  And I am so blessed to have him!

We have been wanting to have a baby for a while now…a long, long while.  And while I have been pretty vocal about my struggle, my husband hasn’t been.  Sure, I knew that he wanted to have children…that was something that we talked about before we even were engaged.  He has always been nervous about the whole idea.  (Which I love, by the way, because it shows how desperately he wants to be a great dad!)  But sometimes I used to think that I struggled with our infertility more than he did.

Over the past year, as I watched him with LSS, I could see what an amazing father he would make.  (Even when he didn’t see it!)  And during our last weekend with LSS, my heart was so filled with love for him as we held LSS in our arms one night and sang “Jesus songs” to her.  And then again, as she crawled onto his lap to have him give her butterfly kisses.

Last night, I heard the pain and loss in his voice as he told his mother about the possibility of us never getting LSS again.  I heard him tell her how much he had been looking forward to telling everyone that he was the “proud new daddy of a 40lb, 44″, five year old girl.”  And I realized that he is feeling this loss just as much as I am and that he has been trying to shield me from the pain that he is feeling.  WOW!  He loves me so much that he would quietly deal with his own feelings in an attempt to not cause me more pain.  He has been carrying my pain as well as his own because I have taken this whole situation with LSS so hard.

I knew that he missed LSS, but I just didn’t realize how much.  I am so glad that I now know how much.  It makes me feel even more secure, knowing that he not only understands my pain, but feels it too.  And it makes me feel so loved that he would be willing to carry my pain!

My hubby is the living embodiment of Ephesians 5:25 which says “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”

Jesus understands and feels our pain.  And He carries our pain for us too.  My wonderful hubby, does just want he is commanded, he loves me the way that Jesus loves me.

Can a woman be anymore blessed than that?

Everyday I read a blog called Ministry So Fabulous. I have never commented because sometimes I am a bit timid about commenting on blogs. I was beginning to comment on today’s blog post, when I realized that what I had to say would take up way to much space for just a comment. So I decided to post on it myself.

Amy Beth (AB) over at Ministry So Fabulous (MinSoFab) asked what the second most important decision in a person’s life is. (The first being the decision to accept Christ into your heart). AB asked if it was who you marry, what your career will be or the choice to have kids.

I think that it is who you will marry because that is a lifetime decision. (And no I don’t mean the TV network for women, I mean a decision that is meant to last a lifetime.)

When I was 18, I couldn’t think of anything worse than being alone. I had felt alone my entire life and was determined that I would not spend the rest of my life alone. So I began dating the first guy who acted not only like he loved me, but also like he needed me. I think that subconsciously I thought that if he needed me, then he would never leave me or betray me. I could not have been more wrong! He did leave me and he did betray me and left me physically and emotionally shattered only 6 months into our very failed marriage.

Who you marry, will affect EVERY aspect of your life. It influences who your friends are. (My first choice of a spouse brought his poor choice of friends into my life). It influences your job/career. (I was so distracted by the abuses that were occurring to me, that I was not able to give 100% when at work.) It influences your finances. It has influence how you grow spiritually. (I stopped going to church and focused all my energy on earning love from someone who was unable to love me and unworthy of my love). It influences the very essence of who you are.

Unfortunately my poor decision in a spouse when I was still a teenager, resulted in divorce, physical wounds, spiritual wounds, and emotional wounds all of which still affect me today.

But luckily, the God that I serve is a loving and forgiving God who gave me a second chance. And I didn’t take that second chance lightly. I met my God-given husband five and a half years ago and we prayed over every step that we took in our relationship. We both knew that THIS was going to be the second most important decision that we would ever face because we knew that only a marriage based on Christ would glorify our Heavenly Father.

Looking back, I am able to compare my sinful mistake (marrying my first husband) with my choice to follow God’s will for my life and find my God-given husband. I am able to compare my life now with my life then. And all I can say is Praise GOD that he is a God of second chances. And Thank GOD that I was able to take my regrettable past, learn from it and find my “perfect-for-me” husband who I will spend the rest of my life with!

Yes, AB, if God has called you to be married, then picking a spouse, is the second most important decision that you will face. But ALWAYS remember that the greatest, most important decision is your on-going decision to follow God in ALL that you do. If you are succeeding in that, then you will succeed in all other decisions in your life!  Because our success comes in living a life that Glorifies God!