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My Ministry, My Life?

November 20, 2008

Change is inevitable. Change is beneficial. Change is also complicated and sometimes very painful.

My husband and I find ourselves in the midst of change. Change that was unexpected, unimagined and extremely sorrowful. In the blink of an eye, my husband and I went from being the pastors of a growing and flourishing youth group to being churchless and a bit disillusioned.

How does something like this happen? And how do we now recover from the situation? How do we find a new church and a new senior pastor that will not betray us like the last one? How did we even get here?

I know that we are in the center of God’s hand and that He is leading and directing our steps. I know that God will bring good out of this situation. And I can already see something that has been brought to light from this: At some point, both my husband and I allowed our ministry to define who we were instead of allowing Christ to define who we were. We allowed our ministry to be our life. And when that ministry was taken from us we felt undefined and incredibly lost.

So how does one stress the importance of ministry within his or her life without allowing that ministry to overtake ever aspect of his or her life? I know that God has big things ahead for my husband and I, but I feel that we need to learn this lesson before we can move on.

The loss and betrayal that we suffered (I may expand on that loss in a future post) was heart wrenching, but it should not have resulted in our feeling as if we lost ourselves. We should have mourned the loss and feared the unscriptural path that our senior pastor was leading our former church down, but we should have been relieved that God spared us the tragedy of remaining involved in church that was being lead by a cult-like persona instead of by the Word of God. Instead, we felt an indescribable emptiness and a loss of purpose.

My wise father, a pastor for over 35 years, told me that God is not interested in growing a ministry, He is interested in growing people; and if people are growing, then the result will be a growing ministry. Dad went on to tell me that God does not define us by our ministry, but by who we are in Christ. I wish that I had realized just how true this is before now. And I wish that I knew how to fully live that out. But I guess that learning how to accept that God’s love is not based on my accomplishments is a part of my journey to “become new”.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Larry Who permalink
    November 20, 2008 11:46 am

    Thanks for stopping at my site.

    I’ve read your stuff, and my guess is that you and your husband’s biggest concern should not be that of finding a better senior pastor, but rather, seeking the calling that the Lord has for your lives.

    You mentioned that you believe that the two of you will accomplish great works for the Lord (I agree). So don’t rush into another pastor position just because you can. Seek the path that the Lord has for your lives.

    Your apostolic callings will not drop into your laps while you are swimming in just any old pool. Let me tell you, to get into these callings is tough and you can expect heartaches, tears, and loss of everything. That includes reputations.

    So, as Jesus said, “Count the cost ahead of time.”

  2. screamofcontinuousness permalink
    December 10, 2008 4:33 pm

    You said it yourself: becoming new is a process

    Understand that God Can not measure our worth by our accomplishments and victories, because they are not ours. They are HIS. Nothing we do has any worth. Apart from HIM.

    Just put yourself right where God wants you: in HIS hand.
    Every. Single. Minute.

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