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Vacation Renewal

May 12, 2009

I sort of fell of the bloggy planet for a couple of weeks.  First for a week because of all the “stuff” happening in my life.  But then for a vacation that we had planned months before Hubby was laid off.  We drove almost a thousand miles to Hubby’s hometown.  He hadn’t been back for three years!  Originally I had thought of this not as a vacation, but as an obligation.  Fourteen hours in a car to go see Hubby’s family (who sometimes don’t seem to like me very much) and live out of suitcases for a week while we visit tons of people was just a very stressful thing for me to think about. But…well…I don’t say this too often:

I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG!

This week was full of interesting turns and spiritual renewal.

A week ago Sunday, we visited Hubby’s old church.  There are 800-900 attenders each week, but somehow we felt right at home.  The service was terrific.  The presence of God was amazing!

After the service, Hubby’s friends surrounded us and made plans for us to visit with them throughout the week.  Hubby’s previous pastor gave him a huge hug and told us to call him to make plans to spend time with him as well.  These are some of the most awesome, loving and friendly people that I have ever known and each time that I see them, I grow to love them more and more!

On Tuesday, we met with Hubby’s previous pastor.   What a great man!  He listened to our story about our last church and gave us wise words of encouragement.  And then he prayed with us!  (Yes, that deserves an exclamation point.  You know why?  Because the only person to pray over us has been my dad.)  And then, he brought us into a pastoral meeting to say hello to all the other pastors (many of them are very familiar with Hubby) and after talking to them for a while, they decided to pray for us as well!

One of the difficult things during the week was meeting all of our friends’ new babies.  We have several friends who have had babies over the past three years that we were just meeting for the first time.  We were thrilled to meet and cuddle each one, but deep inside was the painful, longing question of “When will it be our turn?”

On Friday, we headed to another state to visit more friends.  Friday night was our friends’ daughter’s birthday party.  We arrived a little late, but were just in time to watch her blow out her candles and shove fistfuls of cake into her little mouth.

After the party, our friends’ pastor’s wife came up to me and asked me if we had children.  I said “No” and she said, “You have been trying for a while, but don’t give up hope.”  She then shared her story with me.  She tried for nine years before being able to conceive, now she has two beautiful daughters.  She asked me if she could pray for me.  Of course I said YES!  She laid her hands on my tummy and began to pray.  As she prayed, tears streamed down my face.

When she got done praying she said, “God has shown me what a sweet and nurturing spirit you have.  He has a child for you.  Just be patient, you will have a baby.  Perhaps through adoption.  Perhaps through birth.  But God will give you what your heart has desired for so long.”

We talked for two hours and I poured my heart out to her.  I told her about my fear of losing a child as we did LSS.  I told her about how hard it is to be patient.  I told her how confusing my feelings are when my friends have children and how strange it feels to be so happy for them, yet so sad for myself all at the same time.  And she understood with the keen understanding of someone who felt the exact same way at one time.

I have talked to people online about the pain of infertility, but never in person with someone so open and loving.  It was so freeing!  It was so comforting!

Other things happened this weekend as well, involving my infertitlity, God’s direction in our lives and spiritual renewal and awakening.  Perhaps I will share more in the days to follow.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. screamofcontinuousness permalink
    May 13, 2009 7:04 am

    oh dear girl. so happy for you that you had this time of renewal. Wish I could be there to sit down and chat with you in person.

    It may not happen till heaven, but it will happen. someday. And I will hug you tight and remind you over and over that God is Good and he wants to heal your heart so very much.

  2. May 14, 2009 12:55 pm

    Thank you so much! You are such an encouragement to me!!!

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