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Thirsty Thursday (a day late)

June 19, 2009

Mark 5:25-34 “And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ “

But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

I think that maybe this woman, like me, had PCOS.  I have read this passage of scripture over and over, praying that God would heal me just as he healed her.  Those weeks (and months) when I think that the bleeding is never going to stop, I cry out to him and wonder why He allows me to have this awful problem the prevent me from having a baby when all that I have ever wanted was to be a mommy.

James 5:13-16 says “Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

I have prayed for healing.  I have been prayed over for healing.  I have been healed from other things…including a shattered wrist and hand that doctors said would require me to wear a brace for the rest of my life because it would never heal properly.  But God has not healed me of PCOS and has not allowed me to have a baby.

I have tried bargaining with God.  “Um God…if I promise to  _________ (fill in the blank), would you heal me?” And then “OK God, you don’t have to heal me, just let me have a baby.”  Sure I know that you can’t barter with God, but sometimes I can’t help but think if I prayed harder, more often, louder, or less selfishly perhaps I would get my heart’s cry.

Psalm 10:17 says “You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry.”

I John 5:14 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”

According to HIS will!  As my heart becomes more like His heart, I will know His will and pray accordingly.  Right now, all that I know is that I want to be healed.  I want to have a baby.  I will be honest and say that I don’t know why it wouldn’t be in God’s will for me to be healed and have a baby.  And I will be painfully honest and admit that I know that I do NOT know God’s will for my life.  And not only do I not know it, I don’t understand the things that He is currently doing!

Psalm 37:3-4 says “Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

So here is what I know.  I know that God CAN heal.  I know that God’s WILL will be done.  I know that God desires my heart to be focused on HIM.

No Other, by David Ruis

There is no other love
There is no other love like You, oh Lord
No other sweeter, no other fountain but You
How long until I’m satisfied?
I must have more of You
For I was born in Zion
Awakened love is crying out for You
It must be You
And if I’m healed by just one touch of Your garment, Lord
Then how much more of Your love is for me than I’m tasting, Lord?
Draw me
Take me
And I will run
Over the mountains and down into the valleys, I will run with You
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2 Comments leave one →
  1. June 19, 2009 4:20 pm

    sometimes the thing we are begging God for is a lesser blessing and what He has for us, just around the corner and out of sight for now, is something so much greater than we could ever have imagined.

    It’s like if you have three year old by the hand, you KNOW that you are pulling them towards a huge ice cream sundae. But the three year old is freaking out becasue they want the lolipop in the store check out lane.

    We are that kid sometimes. The one who doesn’t know about the icecream sundae that is coming.

    trust. honey. trust.

  2. June 19, 2009 4:52 pm

    You are so right! I needed to be reminded of that! God’s will is always the best thing for us!

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