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So Many Preganancies, but None are Mine

August 5, 2009

LSS’s mom had a baby a month ago.

My step-sister, just had her fourth (all under the ages of five) and her husband has been cheating on her for years.

G. got married three years after me and is having her first baby in a week.

C. is unmarried and pregnant.  The father has abandoned them.  She never wanted children, but God has changed her heart and she is beginning to get excited.

L. got married six months before me and will have her second baby in November.

My co-worker, J. is due with her fifth (unplanned and not completely wanted)  in December.

H & B will have their third (all under the age of three) in January.

Another co-worker, A is having her second in February.  (She literally only tried once to get pregnant with this one!)

My other step-sister will have her second in March.

K & E were just surprised with a very unexpected positive pregnancy test.  They didn’t want any more children.

S. got married three years ago and will have her second baby in April.

All these babies around me, none of them are mine, but I believe that God has placed them in my life for a reason.  Some of these women need to be shown God’s love.  Some need an extra hand with dealing with the new addition.  Some will become adorable new fixtures in my extended family.  Some are our best friend’s little ones.  All of them I will hold and shower love upon.  Never will I regret their existence.  But each time that I hold one, I will wish that he/she was mine.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. julijules permalink
    August 5, 2009 2:45 pm

    Your post almost made me cry. It sounds just like my life (except I don’t have the fabulous hubby that you do). Hang in there!
    I know that it doesn’t help to know that you are helping others and filling the role that God needs you to fill right now, but it’s true.
    Sometimes I ask God, ‘why does so-and-so have all those babies she is not raising well and I have none?’. I can only suppose that God has a good answer. Maybe we will know the answer someday . . . or maybe the question will become irrelevent.

    Keep living, loving & blogging.

    Blessings,
    jJ

  2. August 5, 2009 3:05 pm

    JJ,
    Thank you so much for visiting my blog and commenting! God does indeed have an answer for why we are childless. And I know that His answer will be better than any we could imagine! His will is perfect. We just don’t see the perfection yet, but one day we will understand. In the meantime, we just have to learn to trust Him and be patient. (I have lots of trouble in the patience department, but maybe that is what He is trying to teach me!)
    God Bless!

  3. August 6, 2009 4:53 pm

    have you ever heard of Rob Bell? he has a video called “Kickball” that you should see. Just trust me on this one. find a church library or a local Christian bookstore that has it and watch it.

  4. julijules permalink
    August 6, 2009 6:02 pm

    Rob Bell has some great stuff! I hadn’t seen the Kickball video, it’s right on the mark. Thanks Deirdre!

    Here’s the link:

  5. August 6, 2009 8:03 pm

    I’m not a Rob Bell fan, but the point of that video is very true.

    I hope that I am not coming off as being whiny or as not realizing that God is in control. He is. But I also believe that He understands my desire to be a mother. In fact, I believe that He gave me that desire. How He fills that desire is up to Him. And until He chooses to fulfill my desire in His special way, I know that He is big enough to carry me though the sadness of my wish being currently unfulfilled. He is big enough to understand my questions. And I don’t doubt His goodness in the least. He is the very definition of goodness.

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