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Leave MY Mommy Alone!

October 21, 2009

I am part of a very unblended blended family.  When I was 15 my parents divorced and then three months later they both married new people.  These new people both came with kids of their own.  My step-father brought his four and my step-mother brought her three.  Up until this point, I was an only child.

My step-mother is great.  She and I are very close.  In fact, there are times that I call her for advice before calling my own mom.  She views me as her daughter and her kids view me as their sibling.  If anything were to ever happen to either of my step-sisters, Hubby and I would get custody of their children.  We are THAT close.  We take family vacations together each year…even if it is only for a weekend.  I have been a part of their weddings and they have been a part in mine.  With in the next few months, Hubby and I will travel with one of my step-sisters and her husband to help them when they go out of state for the birth of their soon-to-be adopted child.

My step-father’s side is a totally different story.  I am close to only one out of four of my step-father’s children.  I consider her my sister.  I have been very active in her child’s life.  Both she and her son were in my wedding.  The others didn’t even have the decency to return the RSVP.  They have done so much to hurt me that Hubby told me a few years ago that I was to have only minimal contact with them.  We no longer do any “family” functions.  It is too harmful.  One of the main reasons that it is so harmful is that they treat my mother horribly and my step-father does nothing about it.

Over the past few years, my mother has had cancer, a hernia, two knee surgeries, and in a few weeks will be having a double knee replacement.  Each surgery has been met with complications and I am sure that this one will be no different.  I have taken care of my mother through each of her illness and watched how she was not only neglected by my step-siblings, but was also verbally abused.  This has caused a bit of a rift between my mother and me because I couldn’t understand why she tolerated this from them.  But something happened yesterday that made me realize that my mother is not capable of defending herself against these monsters.  My step-father is unwilling to defend her; therefore I will.

Yesterday, my mother came to me sobbing.  My step-brother’s wife had spent thirty minutes yelling at my mother and telling her that she was never going to see her family again.  And this was not the first time that this had happened.  Now, one might think, “There must have been something horrible that happened to cause such an outburst.”  One would be wrong.

The one good step-sibling that I have on my mother’s side is going through a very hard time right now.  She is pregnant with her second child and has been extremely sick.  She is unable to work.  Her husband works third shift and does his best to provide for the family; however they were unable to make ends meet.  So my mom and step-father asked them to move in with them.  My nephew doesn’t get to do the things that his cousins get to do, like trips to Florida, music lessons, etc.  So I decided to anonymously pay for him to go to swimming lessons with his cousins.

My step-brother’s wife called my mother and asked when she was going to receive the check to pay for her children’s lessons as well.  When mom told her that she didn’t pay for the lessons, my step-brother’s wife proceeded to yell and scream and call my mom all sorts of names.  My mom just stood there, frozen, with tears streaming down her face.

When my mother told me about this, I decided that the time had finally come for me to step in.  Firstly, because I was the one who bought the lessons and secondly, because no one has the right to treat my mother (who has done nothing by love her step-children and step-grandchildren like they were her own) so poorly and some one should do something about it.

So I wrote everyone an email and told them that I bought the lessons and to lay off of my mother.  I am now blacklisted (so what?).  Mom is not allowing them to talk to her until they apologize and promise to be civil (finally!).  And Mom has told me that she finally feels safe because she knows that they won’t be allowed to hurt her anymore.

In a perfect world, my mom would be able to take care of this herself or her husband would step it up and take care of it for her.  But this is not a perfect world and my step-siblings are not even close to a perfect family.  Therefore I will do what I can for my mother whenever I can.  And if that means fighting her battles so that she can live in peace for the rest of her life, so be it!  Stop making my mommy cry and just leave her alone!

3 Comments leave one →
  1. julijules permalink
    October 21, 2009 11:01 am

    You go Girl!!

  2. October 21, 2009 11:28 am

    This whole situation is so middle-school. I’m glad it’s (hopefully) going to be over soon.

  3. October 26, 2009 8:25 am

    wow. praying.

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