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If This was the Only Good Thing…

April 9, 2010

A few weeks ago, my favorite cousin (B.) emailed me a simple request.  “Please pray for me and J.”  I immediately began to pray for B. and her husband, not knowing exactly what to pray for, but knowing (by cousin’s intuition) that there had to be something pretty serious going on.  I have tried calling her every couple of days since then, but I only get her voicemail.

Today she emailed me again.  The email simply said: “Do you have a minute?”  I rushed to call her.

She answered the phone with tears in her voice and told me, “He left me.”

I wasn’t sure that I heard her right, so I asked her to repeat it.  “He left me,” she said again.

As her story began to unfold, I learned that J. had been having an affair off and on for many years.  She told me that he had moved out in January, but she hadn’t told anyone other than her pastor until this past weekend when she finally told her parents.  A tiny girl to begin with, she has lost over 20lb and is having extreme physical issues all as a result of this horrible betrayal.  My blood was boiling as I sought to calm myself in order to help her.  I couldn’t help, but say, “I just want to beat him up!”  I could tell that she smiled just a bit at that.

But it was the next thing she said that stopped my heart.  “How did you get through it?”  She began to softly sob.

“Oh Sweetie,” I said, “You don’t want to get through it like I did.  I made lots of mistakes that only worsened things for me.  If I could do it all over again, the one thing that I would do is to not turn my back on God.  Even though He felt so distant during that time, I wish that I would have done the things that our parents taught us: read the Bible, memorize scriptures, pray without ceasing and seek Godly council.”

As I was telling her those things, I realized that I was probably the one person in her life who could best help her get through this.  Not because of the wonderful job that I did of getting through my past (God knows that I really screwed that part up!) but instead because I know exactly how she feels and I know that the betrayal she feels is worse than anything she has ever felt up to this point.

I began to tell her the things that I wish people had told me.  I told her that this wasn’t her fault.  I told her that she didn’t deserve this. I told her that she was strong.  I told her that she would get through this and that I would help.  I told her that I wouldn’t leave her and that I would be there for her whenever she called.  And then I told her that she needed to come out here and see me and that if she didn’t, I would go there and get her.  I told her to place her hope not in her marriage, but in God.  The last thing that I told her was that God and I would not let her go through this alone.

“Promise?” she asked.

“I promise.”

If helping her is the only good thing that comes out of my past, then it all was worth it!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 12, 2010 7:59 am

    and in helping her understand how close god is to her right now, you will have a renewed understanding of the truth.

    my heart aches for your cousin right now. Please tell her that I will pray.

  2. April 12, 2010 8:08 am

    Thank you! She needs all the prayer she can get right now.

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