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On Becoming…a Mom…of a RADling

August 3, 2011

Over the past nine months, I have gone from feeling like LSS’s mom in my heart to her actually acknowledging me as her mom.  She now regularly calls me “Mommy”.  I love it! 

But this little girl is not a typical little girl.  We are parenting a hurting little girl who spent the first four years of her life facing rejection and heartache. We are parenting a child who, until she met Hubby and me, did not know anything about security or attachment.

When we first met LSS, over three and a half years ago, we quickly realized that we would be the only security that she would have.  As she was bounced back and forth between us, her birth mom, her birth dad, and her biological grandparents (and step-grandparents), the only constant that she had was our house.  Her bio-family is filled with drug addicts and alcoholics who frequently change addresses and even more frequently end up in jail.

We gave her a home to come back to.  We gave her a comfy room.  We gave her a house filled with love.  But most importantly we gave her our hearts, knowing full well the risk that came with that.

The past nine months have been rough.  This is the longest that LSS has gone without seeing her birth mom.  We don’t even know where her birth mom is.  She does a tightrope walk as she balances between memories of a house that was filled with rage, abuse, and neglect and a home that is filled with love, boundaries and security.  There are days that she thrives.  Days when she brings home A’s on all her tests.  And then there are days where she struggles.  Days when she spends her entire day in the principle’s office.  There are days that go so smoothly that we almost forget what lies right beneath the surface.  There are days that go so terribly that we almost forget that there can be good days too.   There are days when she basks in our love.  And then there are days where she rejects us entirely.

We are parenting a BEAUTIFUL child who is filled with God-given talents and gifts.  We are parenting an INTELLIGENT child whose wit keeps us on our toes (when she doesn’t have us rolling on the floor in laughter).  We are parenting an AMAZING child who is unbelievably resilient. We are parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).

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